How many books have you seen on “amazing leadership”? How many LinkedIn posts have you scrolled past, bemoaning poor leaders or promising the “Five Keys to Leading Like Steve Jobs”?
In today’s professional tech culture, the industry around leadership has never been more lucrative—and misleading. Most advice is anecdotal at best or, at worst, laced with ego and pride. You’ve likely seen leadership advice given as a poorly disguised way to brag about someone’s place in the professional hierarchy.
I’m not here to tell you how to lead. Instead, I’m here to tell you what parts of leadership are always on display to the people around you.
Unlike most tech leadership content—often written by business leaders—I’m approaching this topic from the other side. I’m not here to talk about mindsets, techniques, or different styles. Too few books address leadership from the perspective of the people being led. I’m here to talk about what it’s like to follow good and bad leaders and the lessons I’ve learned. While what I have to say may be helpful if you’re a leader, my real goal is to help the rest of us (followers) identify and distance ourselves from toxic leadership.
1. Leaders’ Real Priorities Are Always on Display (And They’re Often Not Flattering)
In my career, I’ve worked closely with two CEOs, staying late in the office for one-on-one conversations or weekend working sessions. I’ve also worked at larger companies where I was several layers removed from the CEO. In all cases, their priorities shone through—and I’m not talking about goals like “$X revenue this quarter,” “reduce churn by X,” or “build this shiny new thing.” These are just objectives. I’m talking about what they really care about when push comes to shove.
Most of the time, the “push” is something like missing quarterly revenue targets, pressure from the company board, or strong disagreements among leaders about key decisions.
While many great leadership frameworks exist (I personally love “Leader–Member Exchange Theory”), I look for two signs in a leader I’d want to follow. (What you look for may differ from me.)
How they handle accountability when things go wrong. Do they take accountability while identifying who is or should be responsible for a given outcome? Leaders often swing too far in either direction: either taking full responsibility (rather than accountability) and not holding their teams accountable, or placing all the blame on their teams. Both approaches are toxic.
Whether they prioritize employees, vision, and customers as valuable ‘ends’ that the business serves. Poor leaders often see investor value or revenue growth as the “ends” everyone else serves. Employees and customers become mere means to achieve those outcomes. Few leaders are bold enough to say this outright, but their behavior betrays their priorities. Watch carefully: does the business serve its employees and customers by generating revenue and growing—or vice versa?
I once worked at a tech startup branding itself as “a tech company for grownups,” meaning it rejected the work-to-the-bone tech bro culture. Superficially, this was true; no one would reprimand you for attending a doctor’s appointment or picking up your kids. However, when sales slowed and revenue dropped, the leadership team did everything in its power to protect investors—hiding critical business information, failing to take accountability, and firing half the company with no severance, citing the need to pay back investors.
This was a clear example of poor leadership: failing to prioritize employees’ well-being and failing to work as a team.
My favorite leaders hold high expectations for their employees, but they align those expectations with employees’ passions and professional goals. These leaders are dedicated to helping everyone around them succeed. They take accountability when things go sideways and empower their teams to make decisions while holding them responsible in a fair and constructive way.
2. Employees Are Smart—We Know When Leaders Are Inauthentic
Authenticity is about aligning actions with words. When they don’t align, it’s either a failure of communication or a sign that a leader is hiding something.
In American business culture, we are particularly sensitive to leadership deceit. Most of the time, I’d rather a leader state their true thoughts or motivations, even if I disagree with them, than mislead their teams. Why? Because a fish rots from the head down (even if the saying isn’t scientifically accurate).
I once worked at a company that experienced a leadership change. Within a month, it was clear the new leader would not communicate authentically or transparently about their impactful decisions. I was three layers removed, so why should I care? Because within three months, the rest of the leadership either adopted the same approach or became disgruntled and left.
Inauthenticity poisons culture—so completely that even your customers will eventually feel it, leading to churn.
3. Your Company Culture Can’t Hide from Your Weaknesses, (But It Can Love You Despite Them)
Authenticity also means acknowledging weaknesses. Leaders who are open about their flaws and make accommodations for them foster the kind of culture I want to be part of.
When interviewing for a new job, I ask two questions to assess a company’s leadership:
If you were going to leave this company next week, what would be the most likely reason? This question reveals a lot about the culture. Is the answer focused on leadership, or does it reflect the individual’s personal goals?
When was the last time you disagreed with a leader’s decision? What was it, and what did you do about it? While direct, this question provides deep insight into how leadership impacts employees and whether there’s space for disagreement and growth.
Leadership that isn’t afraid to recognize and address weaknesses inspires employees to speak up when they see issues.
While this list is far from complete, it’s become a simple mental heuristic I use when evaluating the leaders around me—or when stepping into leadership myself.